Is a blog like a diary?? If so, I’m horribly bad at keeping up with it! It has been well over a year since my last blog post. Since then, I have given birth to a beautiful baby girl, Abagail Olivia Friedly back in February. She is all smiles, as her grandma LaVonne would say. Levi and I purchased our first home in Brighton Colorado (not counting our condo we still own in Denver), at the end of April. It is a project! We bought it as a short sale and were able to get a really good deal on it. It’s a older house with a lot of vintage touches: dutch doors, windows you have to use a crank tool to open, and plumbing that when you flush the toilet, the shower water turns burning hot! We’ve had a lot of fun so far, replacing toilets, floors, painting. We are making it our own. It has boiler heat ( which I love!) and the basement has its own thermostat, so we don’t have to pay to heat it if we don’t want to. And did I mention that it has original hard wood floors??? If you would have said a couple of years ago that I would live in Brighton I would have said you were crazy! But I can’t think of not living here now. It’s beautiful, and the neighborhood is truly a great place to raise kids. Not to mention, Grandma and Grandpa are just minutes away!
A new house and baby came with my need for a bigger car. We hardly drive the Xterra any more, although a good size for a tall family of 4, the gas milage it gets is just atrotious! So, we bought a mini van, a car I never thought I would want in a million years. But boy do I love the space!! It’s amazing how much more comfortable I feel driving it.
It has definitely been a roller coaster of a year, filled with joy and surprises. We had no idea we would be able to buy a house while still owning our condo. But by God’s grace, it happened for us. Noah turned 2 years old back in January. I cannot believe he is 2 already. Although I cannot believe Abagail is almost 4 months old! I had a rather emotional pregnancy. I was constantly worried about nothing of importance, and probably said some things to people I shouldn’t have. Her birth was definitely a surprise for me. I spent my entire pregnancy with her planning one thing: to just go into labor on my own. That’s it. After having a non emergent c-section with Noah, I wasn’t getting my hopes up for anything. Well, at 2:45 in the morning on February 6th (one day after my due date), I awoke not quite sure if the pains I was having were true labor pains. But I decided that we should go to the hospital just in case. By the time we parked and walked up to the delivery room, I was 7 centimeters dilated. And 20 minutes after that, I was pushing involuntarily. I labored the whole time standing up because I couldn’t sit down! Well, I couldn’t comfortably sit down for a month after having Abagail, but that’s neither here nor there.
She was born at 5:27 am, not even 3 hours after we left our house, not really sure I was in labor. She weighed 9 pounds, 13 ounces. Big baby!! It was a great birth. I was alert after wards, able to walk, talk and breast feed right away. Nursing has been a lot easier with her, and she is a lot quieter than Noah. But my body is different after a vaginal birth and the depression has been harder with her for what I believe to be caused by a number of things. Weight gain that doesn’t seem to want to go away, and feeling like I’m the ugliest person in my family, not wanting to be seen by anyone. The guilt I feel that Noah isn’t getting as much attention, and added frustration towards him. Anxiety about everything being dirty, out of place, and just a flat out mess!! I don’t handle a messy house very well. And the resentment I have about not having a single moment to myself all day long. Not being able to shower, or at least enjoy a full one. But sometimes I can step away, and tell myself, this is only temporary. It won’t be long until Abagail (who is already rolling over like crazy!) is self sufficient, and I will be able to step away from her for more than 2 hours at a time. But I really do love being a mom. Seeing Abagail’s huge smile when I come get her after a nap. Or Noah yelling for me “mama, Noah done napping!” from his room. Or having him wanting to snuggle up with me while I’m nursing Abagail, one thumb in his mouth, the other hand behind me, rubbing my back. It really does make things easier.
Levi had been amazing through all of this. He tries to give me breaks from the kids, and it helps so much. But then I just miss them! I think that’s a good sign.
I have also spent the past year trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, besides being a wife and mother (two very important jobs), and I am still so clueless. Being 29 years old, I decided that my 20’s were about getting a college degree, getting married and starting a family. My 30’s will be about raising my beautiful children and finding a career. I realized midwifery wasn’t for me after I had Noah. So, now my options are going back to school to get a masters degree in a couple different fields (but who needs more student loans!), teaching, or working for a non- profit. But I don’t desire any one more than the other at this point. I don’t plan on working until the kids start school, so I have some time to decide. Either way, I do want to go back to school. I really enjoyed classes, and studying (nerd!). But, who knows, maybe I’m destined to be a stay at home mom, although I’m having a hard time being ok with that. I need grown ups to have conversations with!! And I know there are play groups and such out there, but I really dislike trying to get to know new people, mostly because I hate answering questions about myself. But the one thing I LOVE about staying home, is cleaning and decorating my home (nerd!). There is so much fulfillment and accomplishment in it for me, which is why I may love just being a mom. I can clean, shop and decorate like crazy when the kids are in school! But I like the idea of having 2 incomes, especially in today’s world. I don’t want to have to worry about money. I’m going to begin blogging about implementing a new grocery budget: $200 month for a family of 4. Wish me luck!!! I’m actually super excited to see how I can make it happen, and still eat a vegetation, organic diet.
Until next time!
Have a fabulous day!!!