Well, it’s Labor Day weekend, one year has gone by since my life changed. I didn’t know which way was up this time last year. We decided to go up to our family cabin and spend 4 days just us, isolated from the Internet, phones, civilization. It was real nice, and rejuvenating (that’s what I’m supposed to say right??) It gave me time to look at my life, my husband and 3 kids and start to understand why God has me here. When tragic events happen in our lives, we tend to blame God for the loved one dying or the job that was lost or the failed marriage. That’s a very normal response. When we grieve, we need answers and someone to blame. But we reach a point where it’s just too hard to go through life on our own. We can’t love on our own, live or celebrate on our own, grow up on our own, grieve on our own. That’s why it’s made so difficult for us to endure the pain and joy of this world alone. We need someone to help us through it. Someone who knows exactly what we are going through, and will never ever let us down. 
  
I’ve also come to the realization over the past several weeks, while trying to attempt running, that I need a whole lifestyle change. Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost control of myself, my body, my thoughts and my emotions. I saw in myself, the reluctance and laziness that hindered any chance I had to change my workout routine, my eating habits, my devotion time, my focus on my family and marriage. I saw the incredible feat I had before me to change myself. I should not have expected my first time running in over 5 years to be a successful one. I lacked the mental stamina to get back out there again, and set expectations for myself too high. It was inevitable that I would fail. And I did. I needed to step back and examine where I was in self discipline and self control (are those the same things?). So I reached out to someone I knew and they helped me with a 24 day challenge. I eat six small meals a day (each portioned out), consisting of only lean protein, vegetables, fruit, low glycemic carbs and healthy fats (avocados and nuts). No oils, red meat, processed foods, dairy, and most importantly, no sugar. Very simple basic foods. I have learned how dependent on sugar I have become. Every emotion I feel or down time I have throughout the day, I am eating some type of sugar. And it needed to stop. After I re gain my self discipline and self control, my goal is to only eat 6 teaspoons of sugar a day, at the most! I want to look at sugar as a treat, an act of pure indulgence, not everyday intake. Chocolate will become a real treat for me again, something I can look forward to! But also control. Of course it will take more than 24 days for me to be where I want to be mentally and physically. These 24 days are to prepare me for the next, more intense challenge of self control and self discipline. I want my body to be back to healthy, and a good way to do that is the Eat to Live 6 week challenge by Dr. Furhman. I am very much looking forward to it, as I am in dire need of it!!! I’ve gotten off track from some of the most important things to me. I have lost sight of the important things in my life. And I need to reset my priorities and that takes time and a lot of effort when you’ve been off track for as long as I have. I don’t know what path I will be on after those 6 weeks, but I know that if I am successful in regaining self control and self discipline, I will be that much closer to my 5K goal! And eating less sugar of course 😉 Levi tells me that change us incremental and to not be discouraged.

   
  
  

Camping was a lot of fun. We went fishing, slept in sleeping bags (on top of the bed teehee), saw a moose in the pond, sang “Let it Go” around the campfire (the classic campfire songs!), and I even let my kids eat a s’more (twice…). And as usual, my kids grew up a little in the process. 4 days! We were gone 4 days and we came back with different kiddos. Noah learned how to chop fire wood with an axe. What a sight! Levi has always been so good at teaching our kids how to live, how to be independent. He tackled a few projects up at the cabin and included the kids every step of the way. He hung our old tree swing we had at our house in Brighton. Our new house doesn’t have the tree for the swing, so to the cabin it went! It created a new memory for that swing for me, because the old one I want to forget. The kids really enjoyed swinging all day long, fighting over who’s turn it was next, and seeing how high they could get Dad to push them. Abagail, well she grew up a little too. We decided that cabin weekend was the weekend we were “pulling the pull-ups”. She did great, a few accidents of course but the most impressive thing for me was that she knew when she had to go poop. She was all the way down by the fire pit and was able to hold it as she climbed up the hill and stairs and made it to the bathroom. So impressed with her I cannot tell you!!! Although, it may have been the chocolate I bribed her with that helped her poop, but that’s neither here nor there. She’s just excited to be wearing her Frozen underwear and tell me she can’t poop or pee in them, but she can fart all she wants to! “I have lots of farts!” she says. Liam, well he got his first bloody nose. He’s sitting up by himself but still wobbles! He was hanging out on the floor on a blanket with his toys and face planted right on the wood floor. It was so sad!!! Yes I know that happens, but to see him get a bloody nose from it just made my heart hurt a little bit. 

   
    
 

   
    
 It was a typical weekend of traveling with three kiddos. Levi and I barely had a moment to ourselves as we slept in separate beds with the kids. I didn’t anticipate Noah and Abagail being afraid of where we were at nighttime, and not being able to sleep with each other in the same bed. So I slept with Noah, who fell out of the bed a couple of times! He took it like a champ though. But I held on tight to him after each fall of course, half way asleep through the night, hoping to catch him next time it happened. Noah has a genuine fear of the dark. We had no idea how bad it was until we were at the cabin and the darkness of the woods was all around him. It’s amazing where his heart is at though, he’s so innocent. Levi slept with Abagail who apparently hogs the bed….and kicks in her sleep. Needless to say, Levi and I were quite tired by Monday! I think Liam got the most sleep, tucked away in his own room which was quiet and warm. Good for him 😉 

   
 Well it’s time to say goodbye to the past year and the grieving I endured, goodbye to the hurt, worry and confusion, and say hello to a new year, with new goals and new tomorrow’s.

Until next time….

Have a fabulous day! 

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