When I first introduced this experiment, I wasn’t too detailed on what the 6 week plan is or why someone should do it. My intent was to elaborate more as time went on, and reflect on how I’m doing and why I’m doing this.
The first thing I’m noticing in myself is that when I want to be disciplined, I really can be. Making my kids’ lunch and not munching on their leftovers has not been as tempting as I thought it would be. The big Costco trip , their samples were no match for me (even the corn dogs)! Day 2 was not hard at all, but Day 3 I struggled a little bit. Trying to pack all I need for class has been difficult, and I’m worried that I’m eating too much “other stuff” and not enough salad. But how do I pack a huge bowl of salad and take it to class with me? I’m also struggling with getting enough fruit, as I usually forget that I need to be eating it. But animal products I’ve stayed away from (well, read further I guess), as well as processed foods and sugar. I really thought I had a good meal plan in place as well as what to do when my feelings get the best of me. And on Day 4, they did.
I could lie and say “ya I haven’t had any bad foods so far, I’ve done everything perfect and I’ve already lost 10 pounds!” But I want to be as honest as possible, because this is a blog, sometimes a very personal blog, not a contest. It’s not fiction. And I would hope that someone may read this and find some sort of comfort or even inspiration because they know the person writing it is in fact, human. And doing something as intense as this 6 week plan, takes so much planning and discipline, that a mom with 3 kiddos may not always succeed at. Mistakes are bound to be made, and some days I may want to give up.
On day 4 I spent most of the morning using my vitamix and making dressings and dips, because my food the first few days had been too boring, and I just wanted a change. NOTE: I find you cannot do this 6 week plan with out a good food processor or blender, a vitamix would be the best option of course. It does everything! And makes everything, creates everything. So if you have the means to buy one (they unfortunately aren’t cheap) go get one! I promise you won’t regret it.
Anyhow, I made hummus, almond balsamic dressing (oil free) and cashew cheese. I was really hoping to add variety to my menu with these options. But the day started with so much anxiety about this eating plan, coupled with school stress and life. I have trouble with anxiety, so much so it usually produces a physical reaction. The food I’m supposed to be eating is not new to me, but needing to measure portions and make sure I’m getting all I need every meal can be very stressful!!! For example, I will finish lunch, super full of beans and salad and realize I forgot my fruit and then I feel like I just failed that meal. And I’m not feeding my body properly. Maybe I’m over thinking this, but the eating plan and what you’re supposed to be eating sounds simple at first, but as you dive into it, with all the little measurements (a pound of salad a day, a pound of cooked veggies a day, 1 cup of beans and grains a day, 4 fruits, and minimal healthy fats with their own measurements), and the worry of, am I getting all of that in one day? And add in these thoughts: did I buy enough vegatbles for my salad? Did I eat too many grains today? How do I not have any fruit? Does this dressing have oil in it? Wait, was I not supposed to eat that veggie burger? Do I have enough of a variety? Do I have all of the colors rainbow? Among others. I don’t want to waste this opportunity, but I’m feeling too anxious about it to do it right!
I left for class on day 4 filled with so many emotions and my dinner was in the backseat. I brought a salad and veggie bites with homemade “cheese-less” cheese sauce. But I cried while talking to my husband on the phone and did not have a grip on my emotions. I truly didn’t know what was wrong. All I knew was that I was sad and needed to feel better. I tried talking myself out of it, tears running down my cheeks and my stomach in knots, the entire way to school. But the feeling was too much. I stopped and got 2 double cheeseburgers. At the time I thought it’s what I needed, but in reality I knew it was me giving into how I felt. Instead of dealing with what was making me sad, I turned to false comfort. It didn’t stop there. When I got to school, I went for chocolate. And more chocolate from the vending machine. And I felt horrible, physically and emotionally the whole night, and I never ate the dinner that I brought.
I don’t want to waste this opportunity. My reasoning for doing this was yes, to feed my body the right way, get back on track with eating the right foods, and if I lost a few pounds along the way I wasn’t going to complain, because that is a personal goal of mine. But more importantly, I wanted to start retraining my mind, killing my flesh. A very wise, amazing woman recommend I start reading the book of Romans, and begin what’s going to be a very long process of renewing my thoughts, and handling my emotions differently. I wanted to start spending more time in prayer and asking for guidance, discipline, patience and wisdom on how to do this tough, tough thing. I haven’t done much of that, which is probably why I gave into my feelings.
Regardless of the set back I faced in day 4, I woke up today, day 5, with a different mind set. I can really, still do this. To ease some anxiety about the food, I plan on making more smoothies, for breakfast and lunch, and maybe add beans, grains and cut and cooked veggies for lunch, and dinner, as I need. But as long as I’m putting the right things in my smoothies, I’m confident I can lose some of the anxiety around all the questions I’ve been asking myself. I always have fruits and veggies in my freezer for smoothies, and it really seems a lot easier to drink my fruits and veggies than to chew them. As far as reading and prayer go, I only have 1 clinical and 2 classes left. Once they’re over, I will have a lot more time to focus on what’s probably the most important reason for doing this. In the mean time, I need to find time, either before kids wake up or during nap time, to read and pray. Hopefully I can find the discipline to do that. But, as I’m sure with any new change in life, it’s just something I have to get used to. Once I get into a rhythm, most of this will hopefully become second nature.
Breakfast: Oatmeal with raisins and almond butter and a banana
Lunch: Salad, beans with salsa, avocados and jalepenos
Dinner (at school): Sweet potato black bean burgers (recipe here), broccoli and blueberries.
Day 3 class
Lunch: Salad with beans and salsa, veggie bites
Dinner (at school): Sweet potato burgers with cheese sauce, cheese sauce (base recipe here) with broccoli, salad, raisins and blueberries
Breakfast: walnuts, oatmeal and blueberries
Lunch: Salad with almond dressing, beans and wild rice with salsa, and an apple
Dinner (at school): Cheeseburgers and chocolate….
Breakfast: Smoothie (blueberry, pineapple, spinach, cucumber, water and Skoop)
Lunch: Carrots with hummus, watermelon and smoothie (spinach, blueberries, pineapple, cucumber and water.
Until next time….
Have a fabulous day!!