This little guy, my oldest, my first born, started kindergarten last week (and yes I’m just now getting to writing about it!!). Everyone keeps asking me, “is mom ok?” “Are you handling this alright?” Maybe if I was on social media or was more engaged with the “what I am supposed to do’s” I would be more sad that my baby is off to kindergarten; leaving the house for 4 hours a day, 5 days a week. But I’m not sad! Not the least bit!! What I am, is excited for him, because he loves school. Last year, we tried out pre-kindergarten 2 days a week and he was extatic to get out of the house and do something independent, on his own, something that was just his. And I feel like he takes after me in that way.
For me, my most favorite thing growing up was going to school, and all that encompassed it: sports, carnivals musicals and plays, back to school nights, buying new school supplies and new school clothes, packing my lunch, even the PTA!! And forgive me for saying this, but I have been waiting for this moment for 5 years, not because I can’t wait to get my kids out of the house, no. But because this season of life, school and extra curriculars, were some of the best times of my life and I’ve been waiting to be the “soccer mom” if you will. Running from sport to sport every Saturday hoping to catch all 3 of my kids’ games, or whatever they are doing!! It’s the part of life I have looked forward to the most. I have struggled with being a stay at home mom because there hasn’t been much to do, much to make my mind work, and I don’t mean that in a bad way, at all. Packing up 3 kids to take to a play date, making sure I have food, water, diapers, changes of clothes, more food, only to get there and stay 20 minutes because of nap time, is more work than it’s worth. So more often than not, we just stay home. And I’m just not the mom who plans exploding volcano crafts for my 3 year old becuase the mess freaks me out. That’s just not who I am. And I’ve come to grips with that. I would beat myself and get very depressed, telling myself I was a bad mom every time I saw all the “fun, outgoing moms” on Facebook. And that’s not healthy, because I am a good mom, just in different ways. Comparing myself to other people, not just moms, is a very big reason why I officially got off social media and deleted my Facebook account.
Now that I have a kindergartener, my life seems to have, dare I say, gotten better?? This morning, I woke up at 615, a full hour before I have to wake Noah up for school. I drank a cup of coffee, read a little and just sat and looked out my front window, in awe of what the morning sunrise looked like. It’s unlike me to get up on my own, before the kid are awake. I’ve always wanted to, but sleep is way too addicting and I usually let the kids wake me up, which was nornally about 7. But I would wake up cranky and not ready for the day. But now, I start my day without kids, and with a good cup of coffee, and my motivation (right or wrong) is making sure Noah is up with plenty of time to get ready for school, making him a good breakfast and packing his lunch. I love doing that!!! I’m a nerd, I know, and I’m sure the luxury of it will fade, but for now, it’s exciting.
This past week, I’ve been getting my chores done, because I only have 2 kiddos with me, and well, they don’t fight! They play well together and even help me. I can go grocery shopping…peacefully! I can run errands, without complaints, I take a shower at a normal time. I have time to spend with Liam, who always seems to be left out. Life is just different…it’s better.
Now, let me clarify. I love Noah. I love having 3 kids. I wouldn’t change that for anything and I hope I’m not scaring anyone out of making that leap from 2 kids to 3, because I don’t know what life would be like with out all 3 of my kids. Noah, Abagail and Liam complete our family. All I’m saying, is that I’ve made that transition from babies and toddlers, to school-aged children and am embracing that next season of life. The season of school, crazy schedules and packing lunches, while enjoying what it brings into my home during the day: a little time to catch up on my life, and time to enjoy the 2 kids I still have with me at home.
I know there are some moms out there who dread their kids going to school and can’t imagine letting them be away from the house all day. I really do get that, and that’s how God created them to be, and those moms are amazing moms. But God created me to be someone who loves the crazy, and dreams of being the soccer/PTA mom. It’s just something I long for. Part of the reason I love fall so much is the feeling of newness it brings; new school year, new football season. And to quote Tom Hanks “Don’t you just love New York (Parker) in the Fall? It makes me want to buy school supplies…” I wish I could send bouquets of sharpened pencils to all the moms out there who dread the first day of kindergarten, as a reminder that it’s going to be ok. Your kids are going to grow up, and you’ll grow right along with them!!! And hopefully, you’ll soon realize that the first day of school, is that start of an amazing adventure, for you and for your kids.
Have a fabulous day!